Before Quarter

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When I look at calendar this morning, I was surprised by the fact that I am going to turn twenty-five this year. A quarter of my life, if I would still live a hundred years. It feels like I just was born like seventeen years ago, when my life was considered as easy as Sunday morning compared to my recent life. When my world was just about school, hang out with real friends, make some friends through internet, surfing the internet for hours with one and many intentions—one of them is to find out good non-mainstream musics from not-so-famous artists from somewhere in Europe, try to be cool by doing what ‘cool kids’ do such as smoking and drinking, capture whatever attractive from my perspective with my finally-after-seven-months-of-savings analogue camera named Holga, fall in and out of love, along with other youth activities that mostly done just to be looked cool.

Now, life is getting bit serious. It is not about being cool to impress people anymore. Instead of looked cool, it is more important to be smart and reliable to anyone. By the words real friends, it means someone or few of people who care about you and asking for their help is not necessary because they will help you wholeheartedly. Idle times are still available, but it is not that much as I got back then, it means non-mainstream music hunting is limited for only few hours. In fact, I keep on updating and enrich my music-pedia by listening to the radio, and the sad news is I started to like those top 40 songs, which I made fun of back then. Life also teach me that being cool is definitely not measured by how many cigarettes you smoke and how many variety of alcoholic beverages you try and drink, but how you appreciate your precious life by stay healthy. Last year, I have just learned that fall in love with God is the key to meet the true love. That was the most valuable lesson I learned and here I am, a wife.

In my twenty fourth of ages, I trade most of my times with sitting on the chair, dealing with Excel rows and PowerPoint slides, and going home with tired face. Since I got married, I also have responsibilities as a wife, which I perform right after we arrived at home. Sometimes I am still surprised by the fact that I have just became an adult with lot of responsibilities, I should do all these things. I wish I could turn back time for awhile, back to the day when I was a kid who has less responsibility than I am right now, and I would never ever wish to grow up. Yup, because growing up is a trap. Now I get it. Well, please take a note that it does not mean that I am an irresponsible person, it is just I need a break in certain times.

It took less than ten years to have the game changed. I wondered if my life would be looked like in the next shortest five year. I am a little bit afraid of losing all my sense of humor, the random and weird ideas in my head, the creativity, and even patience that I have, just because of this kind of semi-boring life drives me to become less happier. Speaking of creativity, actually I just realized that it was kinda gone since long time ago. Maybe because of I do not read for a long time, I am often lost in words. FYI, this post is one of the results. I know that this post has no quality compared to old posts I made when I was enjoyed reading articles, blogs, and other reading materials. Moreover, when it is compared to others’ posts, whoa, just don’t. Maybe I need to relight my fire once again to read and write. Maybe I need new activities, because when it comes to achievement, I am far away behind from others, especially when people at my age is very bright, they are able to give something meaningful to the society, to the world. Me? Still defining what goals in life that I want to achieve. So lame. However, I believe that God, my family, and few of real friends will give me strength to live my life.

(This post is purely published as a result of boredom during office hours and a little bit worry of facing the truth that I will be twenty five this year)

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