Life as a Job Seeker


It’s harder than I thought it was. Just because I had MBA title behind my name, it doesn’t give me 100% guarantee that I’m gonna get my dream job easily. Title is just a title, an honor from the institution after you passed all the credits for a specific times, normally 1.5 years for graduate program. Graduated from one of the greatest university in Indonesia with good GPA is obviously a pride. But once again, it doesn’t guarantee to get a job easily. University reputation and GPA could be the crucial things for the first step of hiring, which is screening process. But then once you passed the first step, remember that there will be several steps ahead. A battle to be the competent one, the qualified one, the chosen one, the right one for the company. It’s not easy as I thought it was.

Before the graduation ceremony, right after I’ve done my thesis defense, I submitted my CV to several companies. I went to jobfair twice. I dropped my CV through my friends who work at the particular company I want to work at. There were interview invitations, I attended to most of them. There were emails stated that I’d passed the screening process and I had to do the recruitment test, done that. How’s the result, Feb? Oh dear. I wish I could answer your question with a wide smile upon my face.

I can see you struggling
Boy, don’t hurt your brain
Thinking what you’re gonna say
Cause everything’s a game
Always trying to calculate
Trying to look smart but not too smart
To threaten anything they say

(Banks – Brain)

Have no idea why I always ruin my job interview. Most of time, I couldn’t speak clearly. Nervous. I feel so terribly idiot. Knowing the fact that I’m incompetent is way more horrible than break up with my ex. I feel like a completely retard. Every questions pointed to me were asked with bullshits. Not every answers were bullshits but I wasn’t good at bluffing. Like Banks said, trying to look smart but not too smart to threaten anything they say. It feels like where have I been all these years? What have I learned all this time? Have I done something to be proud of? I’m not as smart as I thought. I feel like a my whole life is a joke. I’m a joke. Fuck me.

I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
I don’t believe it makes me real
I thought it’d be easy
But no one believes me
I meant all the things I said

(Sum 41 – Pieces)

Though I got a help from my networks, most of time, the job position is not what I’m seeking for. It seems like I can’t perform in the division I’ve been offered in. A rare chance, a rare opportunity that not everyone can have it. I have to be grateful but on the other hand, I don’t want to disappoint them. But then, the processes are still needed and I don’t know if I could pass the process or not. Still, there are some processes and a help may has a limit. Once again, it’s a real world that I have to face myself.

Where you’re from,
You might be the one who’s running things
You could ring anybody’s bell and get what you want
See it’s easy to ignore trouble
When you’re living in a bubble

So what are you gonna do
When the world don’t orbit around you?
So what are you gonna do
When nobody wants to fool with you?

Ain’t it fun?
Living in the real world
Ain’t it good?
Being all alone

(Paramore – Ain’t It Fun)

Sucks to be myself at the moment. I really need to talk. I wanna practice how to beat a job interview. Anyway, I love these lyrics by HAIM.

Don’t stop, no, I’ll never give up
And I’ll never look back
Just hold your head up
And if it gets rough
It’s time to get rough
They keep saying
Don’t stop, no it’s never enough
I’ll never look back, never give up
And if it gets rough
It’s time to get rough

(HAIM – Falling)

Rough times. Hard times. Get up and move on. OK, gotta shed all tears, stand up tall, practice to be perfect, and beat those interviewers. I gonna have my dream job soon. Very soon til it feels like I hate Monday because I hate to go to work. I hate tomorrow is Monday because it doesn’t make any difference with Sunday. Everyday is a holiday. I’m in the phase where I wanna throw up knowing the fact that I have nothing to do by tomorrow. Oh please Lord, give me what I want. Right. At. This. Moment. Somebody please bring me tons of good news.

Bye. Dah. Mulai ngelantur. #DesperatelyNeedAJob


9 thoughts on “Life as a Job Seeker”

  1. semangat cantikkk!!! people always have ‘that’ first interview where they screwed everything up. Don’t worry 🙂 They never ask u how many interview you failed at kok at the end, itu cuma learning process. And hey, coba cari di bookstore about how to success in your interview, pasti ada bejibun buku abt it. Nowadays, everything can be learned kok 🙂 Ga semuanya harus lo bisa karena lo udh sekolah krn ga semuanya diajarin sekolah kan 🙂 Semangat feeeb! You’re young, you’re smart, you have TONS of opportunity. Don’t waste your time giving up or even looked down of yourself 😀

  2. :* :* :* jgn menyerah feeb…Gue tau banget lo orangnya kalo failed sedikit pasti mulai down bgt, ayo ayo semangaat! Inget aja nanti ketika lo udah dapet kerja, hal – hal kyk gini nih yg memorable..Kalo butuh apa2 japri gue aja feeeb, maap yaaa gue jarang bgt di Jakarta gabisa diajakin curhat 😦

  3. hahaha, gue juga dulu gitu bi sebelum ketemu M+
    now to be a researcher, is your dream job?

    btw, nice blog..

      1. haha,
        gak asik ah klo gue kasih tau.. biar main tebak2n..

        mo baca2 yang lain dulu :ngacir

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