Lately I’ve been feeling blue over nothing. I feel like something has been lost in my soul. OK sounds very lebay. But that’s how I feel. A week before last day of my class, I felt so terribly gloomy to knowing the fact that I’ve finished the whole damn semester of my graduate program. Last day of my program. Ugh a farewell. And I never ever like farewell though it’s gonna happened anyway. Well, it happened a week ago. *sniff*
This kind of feelin’ blue phase isn’t just about the class farewell, it’s also about my thesis. Hmm I should’ve not felt so damn blue about this, since my mom and Mr. Nanang as my tutor are ready to help me through this shit. But. Yeah it’s just me being a procrastinator. I don’t know how to start even though I have the big picture of my thesis. Too lazy to write it down. Moreover, knowing the truth that the other four of Pak Toha-ers have the same laziness with me, I don’t think that I’m gonna do it now. I guess I should make a first move since the other four have no idea to trigger others. Well…
Relationship. We’re cool. A little bit jealousy strikes back few days ago. It hit me. The cliche tale: there was my boyfriend’s junior high crush on his Instagram’s recent search history. I was so fcking jealous I could eat him alive. But then after I burst into tears and put myself together, I had the horrible thing few years ago. This was nothing compared to the horrible thing I ever had years ago. So now everything’s cool.
I wanna tell you the ugly truth. It seems like I lost my sense of humor and interest when I’m with my friends. Sometimes it suddenly happens in the middle of conversation. They’re pretty fine, well I’m not. I want to know what the hell is wrong with me? I love them. I really do. Can’t deny that they’re the elixir of my bad days. I need them. Sometimes I feel that the old jokes we share were not funny anymore. I need something new. Though the old times and old super funny jokes were not gonna be replaced with anything. Priceless.
THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH ME?!
PLEASE GOD. SHOW ME THE RIGHT PATH, THE BRIGHTEST ONE SO I COULD FEEL ALRIGHT AND FINE!