Since I met you and have been asked several question related to passion, happiness, life, I think about it every time. I thought you were a visionary. Cool, I thought I need someone to talk about these things. Moreover, you have brighten up my gloomy days back then. I know it sounds crazy to choose you over my one-step-closer-to-marriage-thingy boyfriend at that time. But that’s what really happened. I’m not really sure what kind of feeling it was but let’s say it’s love. I fall in love with you.
I’m glad when you said you are in love with me too and wanted me to be your girlfriend. I don’t know why I have intention to help you out of your solitude, because I’ve known how your past look like. I hope I could make you find your own happiness and reveal who you really are. But one thing you have to know. I’m lost too. We are a lost couple. Sounds heroic but maybe I should define myself first then help you out.
Now. I’ve heard it from you. You think that our relationship is flat. I’m sad. After all this time, you’re still lonely. Maybe there’s no significant efforts I’ve done that make you feel alive. Ok maybe because I’m still figuring out mine, still lost, still dealing with that ‘trauma’, and I have this high-silly-expectation; being someone’s favorite; without a big effort (or they don’t see it coming).
I don’t know what to do.
I just wanna run away. Disappear.