there is a phase when you are questioning yourself what the meaning of friends is. what do you think the meaning of friends? someone who always be there for you no matter what happens? the closest person to share everything when there’s no possible way to tell except to them? a group of people who have the same interests with you? or what?
maybe this sounds too melancholic. i feel like i’m losing all my best friends. all of them. those meanings that i have been questioned above might be answered as ‘yes’ but i see none of them. in this very free yet boring time, i can’t reach them in a person. one has been very busy with their activities and then followed by the others. i just… want to feel how glorious the day was when we were together as one. we gathered in one place, didn’t care where it is, laughed at lot of jokes and spent all the day with laugh-laugh-eat-laugh-gossip-laugh. tons of laughter.
in the other side, i feel like i’m out of the circle. these changes that i couldn’t refuse have made me been screwed up from the circle. and then i don’t know why it’s hard to put myself back into the circle, and nobody has taken me into the circle. differences and other things, you are successfully ruin my life.
i have to face these kind of damn hard circumstances. everything’s changed. everybody’s changed. let me pick out Keane’s lyric here.
“you’re gone from here
soon you will disappear
fading into your beautiful light
cause everybody’s changing
and i don’t feel right
so little time
try to understand that i’m
trying to make a move just to stay in the game
i try to stay awake and remember my name
but everybody’s changing
and i don’t feel the same”
hope this sucks phase of my life time would be ended up soon